With the end of school, comes this feeling of freedom, excitement, and having all the time in the world to do everything you couldn’t when exams were driving you crazy right at the end.
You would think that doing this course for the past two years – where it felt very much like school with the tests and studying and classroom setting – would have the same feeling. Strangely not. There is no feeling of freedom, that rush of not having a care in the world, of having all the time you want to waste at your fingertips. Instead, all that time just brings about a sense of apprehensiveness and dread, wondering how we can fill it in more productively.
If you haven’t been on this journey for the past two years, you might not relate to what I have to say – it would have seemed like a purely academic course, what with the amount of time we spend studying! But it’s more than that.
When you study your religion, you are studying a way of life, so it is more applicable in every single day than any university course you are going to take. We have gone through a roller coaster of emotions from the beginning of the week to the end, been through situations in our lives where we didn’t know how to deal with it, only to find the answers in class the next day in the Qur’an, shaking our heads saying “SubhanAllah!” at what seems to be an amazing coincidence but what is really the perfect planning of Allah.
We have haqq ul yaqeen – full certainty – that if Allah gets you to it, He will get you through it, and there is no way that He ever leaves you alone.
We have experienced the boundless mercy of our Rabb, even though we are so undeserving. We have realised the strength that being in contact with the Qur’an everyday gives us, in our ‘ibadah and in dealing with people. We have understood that people who come from such different walks of life can build such a strong bond, only because of the binding agent, and that is love of Allah. A sisterhood that is there for you whether they understand your trauma or not, to back you up when you’re slipping, and be your good company in times of fun or pain.
When you realise that once you’re done with the course, you’re not actually done, you understand that now is not the time to run wild like a free bird, because what is the end of one phase is the beginning of another. And with Shaytan right on the heels of a student of ‘ilm, letting yourself go is like opening the door to him.
It’s not all about work and no play, don’t get me wrong. What is incorrect is actually our concept of taking a break. It is not about chilling and watching movies and wasting time. It is about maintaining your connection with Allah ALWAYS, whether you are working or not. Chilling only happens in Jannah, if we have worked for it in dunya.
The Arabic word that comes to mind is فارغ – meaning to be free of something. And that is something we are not now. We can never be “free” of the Qur’an.
I woke up this morning with a heavy heart, and I thought it might have been because it was our last day, but what actually weighed me down was the responsibility of what is to come.
What next? is a question everyone is asking. Some of us have our plans and some of us don’t, but what we all ask for is implementation of what we have learnt. Because the most dangerous thing you can have is ‘ilm without ‘amal.
May Allah accept every effort from us to seek knowledge for His sake only, every step we took to get closer to Him, every sacrifice we made for Him. May we remember to be grateful for every ease He has given us, as well as every trial. May He strengthen the bonds we made for His sake and reunite us all in Jannah, where we get to see His Face.
May this not be even the slightest bit the end.